More Than Forever

“Hey, you know what?”
“What?”

“It’s almost that time,”

“What time, dear?”

“For me to let go of you,”

All seems that there’s no place to go, any space to move. Even the air stops. Freezed. Stunned.

“I’m sorry, dear. But my time would come soon,”

“No. You’ll live with me forever. Even if there’s a thousand years that would be mine. I’ll love you whatever there would be,”

“If only I have it, dear,”

And another silence.

“If I had a thousand years to love you, I would need to live a thousand more. As so much love inside I want to give you. You’re the one I’m waiting for,”

“Then why let go?”

“Darling, you... A lifetime ain’t enough to love you. There’s not enough time to have you here beside me,”

“I’ll be with you all the time. We promised.”

“No, please. I don’t want to hurt you watching me dying,”

“Promise is promise. Keep it please,”

“If I could, I would give you more than forever. I would love you no matter the end of time. I would give you more than the rest of my life. But I can’t. My time is so short. Not much that I have left to love you enough,”

“We still have time. Let us be together till end of your time if there’s not much more. I’ll stay even when you want me to go,”

“If that’s what I could do, I’ll be loving you more than forever; and if I had have a thousand of your kisses, that won’t be enough to get me around. I would seek for more than a lifetime of your kisses to get me satisfied,”

“Then let me in. Please let me in,”

“I don’t want you to die with me. You mean so much. Even when I have to go, I’ll still live within you. As you’re part of me. So please live, and leave,”

“I would leave, with you,”

“You are half myself. I can’t stand hurting you more. You know there’s not enough time to show you what I’m feeling. I’ll be loving you more than the rest of my life,”

“Just because it’s your life I cant get enough time,”

“Promise me that you’ll find someone,”

“You’re the only one for me,”

“I can’t stand watching you grieving the rest of your life,”
“I won’t. You’ll live with me, with every step I’d go,”

“Hey, baby, you mean so much to me. So don’t hurt yourself. You hurt me more than you would ever realise. There’s not enough place to show you the love that’s inside. Not much word to tell you, and not enough move; but now you know it, just ,please, leave me while I lay here waiting for my time,”

“No!”

“If you won’t go, then you may just as well close your eyes with me,”

“Can I hold your hands, then?”

“Yes, please. But, please, not too close. I don’t want you to die from my disease,”

And they both closed their eyes; slow enough for the time to pass. But they both went together. And love spreads.

If only there exist more than forever, then there’d be a better story than Romeo and Juliet.

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NotaBuku:

One of my English short story. Guess what? Go search for what song I include in this storyline

Kisah Si Gadis Sepi

Kadangkala bercerita tentang diri sendiri membuatkan orang jadi malas mendengar. Hari ini aku tiru gaya Fida Aishah, salah seorang teman yang paling rapat di GB dulu; dan cuma pernah sekali berborak di Facebook. Sekali itu saja selama tiga jam. Satu-satunya peluang yang ada dan aku memang ambil peluang itu sebaiknya.

 

Aku dan sastera sebenarnya semakin lama semakin sukar dipisahkan. Hari ini aku mahu bercerita tentang dari mana aku dapat jiwa sastera aku.

 

Sejak kecil sebenarnya persekitaran aku memupuk bahasa. Tiga bahasa yang paling kerap digunakan dalam keluarga aku, bahasa Melayu, bahasa Arab dan Inggeris. Dan bahasa keempat, yang aku tuturkan dengan teman-teman. Bahasa Melayu Sarawak.

 

Pengaruh paling kuat dalam pembinaan bahasa aku adalah ibu. Walaupun ayah juga banyak mempengaruhi, tapi ibu yang paling aku nampak. Lagu-lagu kegemaran ibu adalah lagu puisi. Lagu dendangan Ebiet G. Ade. dan salah satu yang paling aku suka adalah lagu Khabar kepada Kawan. Beberapa kali pernah aku putarkan lagu ini di GomoFM.

 

Bahasa indah dalam lagu-lagu itu sangat mempengaruhi cara aku bercakap dan menulis.

 

Perhatikan lirik ini.

 

Khabar kepada Kawan

 

perjalanan ini terasa sangat meletihkan

sayang engkau tak duduk di sampingku kawan

banyak cerita yang mestinya engkau saksikan

di tanah kering berbatuan

 

tubuhku terguncang dihempas batu jalanan

hati tergetar menampak kering rerumputan

perjalanan ini seperti jadi saksi

gembala kecil menangis sedih

 

kawan coba dengar apa jawabnya

ketika ia ku tanya mengapa

bapa ibunya telah lama mati

ditelan bencana tanah ini

 

sesampainya di laut

ku khabarkan semuanya

kepada karang kepada ombak kepada matahari

tetapi semua diam

tetapi semua bisu

tinggal aku sendiri terpaku menatap langit

 

barangkali di sana ada jawabnya

mengapa di tanahku terjadi bencana

mungkin Tuhan mulai bosan

melihat tingkah kita

yang selalu salah dan bangga dengan dosa-dosa

atau alam mulai enggan bersahabat dengan kita

coba kita bertanya pada rumput yang bergoyang

 

Berapa banyak perkataan yang kita tak biasa guna? Berapa kerat yang sering kita gugurkan penggunaannya dan digantikan dengan perkataan lain yang hampir seerti dan klise?

 

Bahasanya biasa, tapi susunan perkataan yang digunakan dalam lirik yang mempengaruhi.

 

Dan cuba renung kembali kenapa Ana Rafalli menang AJL. Dan ingat, M.Nasir merupakan ketua juri bersama Habsah Hassan dan seorang lagi penulis lirik. Lirik.

Perhatikan lirik Tolong Ingatkan Aku.

jangan disusun kata-kata penamat

jangan disebut baris ayat keramat

biar lenyap diserap sunyi

biar senyap yang tak menyepi

 

tolong ingatkan aku kisah kau tersedar

dengan saku penyeluk masa

mari patahkan papan markah lama

mari padamkan buku tiga lima

biar luka sembuh sendiri, biar lupa dimakan hari

 

tolong ingatkan aku kisah kau tersedar

dengan saku penyeluk masa

kau dampingi aku setiap detik jantungku berdetak

setiap nota jiwaku berlagu-lagu

bila marah merasuk minda, kecewa menyelubungi jiwa

aku lupa

 

tolong ingatkan aku kisah ku tersedar

dengan kasih memeluk rasa

ku teringatkanmu setiap detik jantungku berdetak

setiap nota jiwaku berlagu-lagu

 

tolong ingatkan aku kisah kita

tolong ingatkan aku kisah ku tersedar

dengan kasih memeluk rasa

tolong ingatkan aku kisah kita

Ini pengaruh ibu. Nanti kalau sempat nis tulis yang lain.

 

NotaBuku:

1. Tak biasa-biasanya aku menulis dengan “aku”; dan untuk bercakap adalah lebih susah menggunakan “aku”. “Kita” lebih lembut. “Saya”? Sin, kaf, ya, mim, alif.

2. Buku pertama yang ayah beri sewaktu sudah boleh membaca lancar adalah English Grammar for KBSM. Guess what?

Dari Blog Obefiend – Siri 10

REPOST: THE FALL AND FALL OF MASTIKA

Soon the market was so saturated with these mini mags that I swear I saw 11 such magazine in Kedai Runcit Rahmath in Tronoh. The format is always the same.

Nota1: Now there’s something I actually recognise. I worked there for a few days after SPM - my favourite session each day is the rest session as I would sneak into the store to find old book stocks in there; spent 10 minutes for meals and prayers and I’m back in the shop for store-digging session - before spending the rest of my post-SPM holiday in Kuala Nerang for 52 days – taking Arabic Language course -  and about 3 weeks at home before going to PLKN in Kem Tegas Mesra Selama; and later residing Kuala Nerang again for my matriculation for 11 months – never have the chance to complete my National Service.

LOL! I really want to touch M-16 just once and the mission is not accomplished. I got some good points there, anyway. My first and only sports medal for participating in Karnival Sukan Air Zon Utara and I even made it for Penolong Ketua Dorm even when the Camp Commander laugh at me asking “Eh, Puteri Islam unit beruniform ke?” during the interview – which last for 5 hours as we have to go in queue and my company is the last in queue. [My name starts with S and thus I’m in the last company in the list. Rahman, Razak, Sussein – sorry wrong spelling on their company green sports T-shirt - Hussein, Mahathir it goes.]

Seriously the worst thing to do is to remake beds after each training session for Sukan Air because the beds are supposed to be straightened and every shoelaces must be in place plus in the correct order – and have to finish remaking them before 8 as the *so-called* Character Building classes started right after the music stop playing.

The boots in the middle, then the sports shoes and class shoes. I even remember the order of the shoes  - which is just awesome to me. Hahaha.. I hate making other people’s bed but the laziest [not to be racist] in my dorm are the Indian girls.

The Chinese are so stubborn when it came to giving back the handphones each Sunday night and the Malays hate me as I won’t let them sit on my bed after morning modules. They love sitting on my bed because it was in the middle of that part of our dorm but they never remake my bed. Thus, new rules have to be given. DON’T SIT ON MY BED! Hahaha.. Quite cruel back there.

Now from magazines to PLKN? That’s far.

Back to the topic, the first impression of the coaches about me is “WOW! THOSE ARE TOO MUCH OF BOOKS YOU BROUGHT!” Books are my obsession so just shut your mouth if you see me reading them during I mean, there’s no “during” thing if it is for books. I’m a bookghost!

NotaBuku: Another long-comment-worth-an-entry. I shouldn’t write that Nota1 in the first place.

Riddle #1

When does alphabet contain only 25 letter?


Jawab jangan tak jawab :)

Joke Day! #1

If you give a man a fish, he eats for a day.
If you teach a man to fish, he can always eat.
If you give a man a fire, he's warm for a day.
If you light a man on fire, he is warm for the rest of his life. 

Got it? Hahaha...

NotaBuku:
Taken HERE - Jokes for Classroom.

Some People Just "Can't"

Okay. Time for the first ever fully-in-English entry.


I know, some people just can't accept the concept of crush. I have been one of them once, but time changes.

Before having a crush myself, I always thought that it is so weird to like someone who may never see you at all in their own life, even if you approach them quite a lot of time.

The first crush I've ever remember was when I'm in form 2. Seriously, it's a CRUSH okay? No one can stop anyone from crushing on people. When it starts, you can't say no at all. I don't believe anyone had never had a crush in their life.

Since the first crush, I may have up to 20 crushes now. [Hey, please. Crush! Not love! We'll talk about love later.] And most of their starts with "A". No one knows why. There's no explanation about it in any book. Go Google on books to get the definitions of crush. You won't find any with the explanation to my situation. And why "A"? Where're the other 25 letters? I like Q more. Believe me, I'm collecting names with Qs to be inserted into my writings.

Crush may grow into love, but very few that I know passed until marriage. [Now I'm talking about love. Oh, writing, okay? Don't be a nerd, please! And this does not include family matter.]

For the whole lifetime, the nearest feeling to love that I've ever been in is for one particular person only. Just one. And I only realise it after he left. [Nope! I've never been in relationship with a boy. Not me.] I've never have any strength to express my feelings to anyone by mouth. No and never.

This is the way I tell people what I feel. Through my writings. Everything I've written are my dreams and my life. My feelings, my opinions. I need to share but I don't believe in people I actually know. Never. It's better talking to strangers because most of them will forget the story in 5 minutes. Everyone has their own story to tell so do I!

And, please. Do I have to explain twice about crush?

Think again.

NoteBook:
1. I don't talk nonsense all the time so please chew before you swallow.
2. Yeah, I know you'll know if I'm talking to you.You tried to get me talking in your comment form. It's so obvious .
3. I've lots of scandals on that carpet, and lots of crushes too. Just because I seem to be very close to you that you've detected my style of talking, and somehow you know I've had crush on you, you conclude that I'm gonna be attached forever.
4. I'm the kind of girl who remember events. Talk about something, and I'll tell the most friendly memory of it. Don't ever think you're so special, please. I treat everyone almost the same. Even the first love. Darling, sayang, dear. Those are my words when I'm talking. I'm used to it but I don't think I've ever used those on any of my crushes. None, I'm telling you. Do I have to use them on you to tell that you're ordinary? Don't force me to make you vomit, please.